// October 19th, 2008 // No Comments » // diary
Every so often I write a blog entry so loaded with bile that I come back to it fifteen minutes later and delete it, feeling foolish that I wrote it. Sometimes, I write something harsh or sweary or just plain unfunny and I’m tempted to do the same, even get rid of the whole blog, but I don’t because one point of keeping a blog is, I suppose, that you should be honest. Sometimes I’ll have deleted something and maybe someone has already read it, and I just have to hope that the fact it has gone the next time someone looks for it is a signal that it was best forgotten. Forget I said it, sorry, I was being stupid. There’s honesty and there’s oversharing – and I always try not to do that. There’s stuff on my mind that I can’t write about because, well, it’s nobody’s business, or I haven’t figured it out myself.
One luxury of blogging is being able to delete anything really stupid. I’ve written letters or sent text messages or emails I really wish I could take back. Once in a previous job a colleague read the first few lines of an email giving amusing definitions to common words, a bit like those found in Douglas Adams and John Lloyd’s The Meaning of Liff. After forwarding the message and hearing the ping of his new mail echoing round the office, he continued to read, and his face fell. A definition came up of the phrase ‘double bassing’ – it was when you’re having sex with a woman from behind and you’re also pleasuring her round the front. He’d sent it to the whole team including the IT director. This being before message recall he had to send another message saying ‘don’t read my first message’, but this was possibly the epitome of shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted. He never did it again.
Anyway – there’s a hell of a lot I haven’t figured out, and the older I get it just seems like the more there is.
Before this diatribe of self-indulgent tripe carries on any further, I’m just apologising if it sounds like I feel sorry for myself, or I’m being unreasonable, or arrogant, or rude. I am extremely lucky to be where I am and to have the friends I have, to have seen the things I have and met the people I have. If you are one of those people, thank you. Thank you very, very much. And don’t take any offence.
Also here