Take the veil
Aishah Azmi’s insistence upon wearing the veil in front of male colleagues would be regarded as the behaviour of a mentally unstable person, if it were not for the fact that she is Muslim. The behaviour of a great many religious people is somehow excused on the grounds of their religiosity, and we might say that is beside the point, but there is only so much crap you can put up with. Most religions are evil, hypocritical, pernicious, unjust and irrational – why not tackle them head on?
The absurdity of wearing the veil is obvious, and moderate Muslims should be the first to agree with that – it is about subjugating women. The holy trinity of Judaism and its offshoots Christianity and Islam have all been hijacked by men, the scriptures being twisted and misinterpreted with one objective – to screw women over and keep them down. The Qur’an teaches that women should lower their gaze, it is true – in the same breath as it tells men to do exactly the same thing. That obviously didn’t get through to the Muslim men who walk in front of their Burqa-adorned women, wearing jeans and shirts, not a veil in sight. The hypocrisy is sickening.
The Qur’an passage that is causing all the stink is this one:
Qur’an 24:30-31
Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty:
That will make for greater purity for them:
And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.
And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty;
That they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof;
That they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty
Except to their husbands their fathers their husbands’ fathers
Their sons their husbands’ sons
Their brothers or their brothers’ sons or
Their sisters’ sons or their women or
The slaves whom their right hands possess or
Male servants free of physical needs or
Small children who have no sense of the shame of sex;
And that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments.
And O ye Believers! turn ye all together towards Allah that ye may attain Bliss.
So the passage above says that men should lower their gaze and guard their modesty, and then goes a bit further to say that women should, basically, cover up their bosoms. There’s no mention of covering their faces, but scripture is all about interpretation isn’t it?
The Taliban continue to fight coalition forces in Afghanistan, and would happily come back, reinstate Sharia law, and bury adulterous men and women up to their waists before stoning them to death. And these stupid women still want to wear the veil? Do they support death by stoning, or another Muslim punishment, twenty-five lashes of the whip and a year’s solitary confinement?
So, it’s back to the mental instability question, because if you wear the veil, you surely have to believe in stoning and lashes – and who in their right mind would?
Celebrity Nutters
Singer Chris de Burgh has said he has healing hands which have “helped reduce pain” for people with injuries.
He told of a golfer who had seriously hurt his leg in an accident, but who began walking again “within 20 minutes” of his form of “alternative therapy”.
“We all have the facilities within our hands to feel other people’s pain spots,” the Irish star told BBC One’s Heaven and Earth programme.
He said his musical work meant he was “connected very strongly” to his hands.
Link: De Burgh tells of ‘healing’ hands
I also feel I have to declare at this point that I am “connected very strongly” to my hands. And my nose, ears, legs and buttocks. Boom boom.
Isn’t it bad enough that De Burgh is responsible for one of the most vomit-inducing songs of all time, but now he claims he has healing powers? I have a vision of him pawing the sick and injured to the tortuous strains of ‘Lady In Red’, and it is making me feel slightly queasy.
De Burgh also claims that we are “surrounded by a strong force”. Yes. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together.
Other quiet-news-day headlines in the same vein coming up:
- Rick Astley claims proof of existence of Loch Ness Monster
- Bobby McFerrin insists own eyeball contains tiny universe
- Glen Medeiros brings dead donkey back to life with spittle
Arrrr!
Yarrr! It be International Talk Like a Pirate Day! Avast, ye bilge rats! Scrub the poop deck and polish the bung hole! Drink a Salty Dog to the memory of the finest thievin’ pirates in Davy Jones’ locker! Walk the plank! Smartly, me lass and admire me hornpipe! Arrrrr!
Pirates be special people and our forefathers, so say the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Arrr. Aye, me parrot concurs.
Exit right… now
A leaked memo (they’re always good, these leaked memos) has suggested that Tony Blair’s retirement is to be ‘stage managed’, to ensure that his exit from Downing Street is on a wave of euphoria after his ten years in power. Presumably we are to experience a week-long series of programmes on new channel BBC Condescending, documenting humble Tony’s rise to power, his liberation of the oppressed Middle East, his extensive education reforms and his overseeing the greatest period of growth and development ever seen by the NHS. Important figures from world politics will appear to give their own personal thoughts, and the final night will see a concert of thanks with luminaries from the entertainment world pausing their songs to give mawkish words of thanks to the Man. Later, commentators will suggest that Tony Blair truly was the finest premiere our country has ever seen – but he was let down by the idiots working for him. He’ll get a big oil painting on the stairwell of Number 10, and his face on the fifty pound note.
Meanwhile, George W Bush will turn out to have an IQ of 250, Donald Rumsfeld will turn out to be an evil robot who was controlling Bush through evil robot mind implants, Tom Cruise will admit that Scientology is a big old load of crap designed to extort money from gullible people, those silly insurgents and Taliban will shake hands with our boys in the Middle East and say they’re sorry, we will discover how to extract unlimited safe energy from the mews of kittens, and visitors from Mars who all look like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt will share with us the secret location of a staircase through a magic portal to a new home planet where there is no reality TV and they do the best cheesecake in the universe.
Aw, we was only ‘avin a larf!
Hizbullah last night admitted it would not have captured the two Israeli soldiers last month had it known a war would follow.
You can almost imagine Hassan Nasrallah coyly staring at his foot as he taps at the floor… “Who knew?”, he says, as everyone has a good laugh. “We were only doing it for a bit of a giggle, like… but Israel – pheee-ew! They went ape! I mean!”.
This goes down as Example 94 in the new series Why All Leaders Of Major Political Organisations, Terrorist Groups And Governments Are Unbelievable Morons.
Poor Gao
When asked “how can I help you Sir/Madame?”, you reply “I am here for Lucy’s Birthday Party at the Rivoli Bar”
Lucy Gao really can’t have imagined that this would happen. I almost can’t believe it’s true. Almost, were it not for people’s capacity to be such complete and total wankers.
Was she a control freak to have given her ‘friends’ such explicit instructions for attending her birthday party? Maybe. Maybe she just wanted a good night, on her 21st birthday, which is a fairly big deal for anyone, and wanted everything to be just so. She’s almost certainly as naive as hell. She was paying for the champagne and the cake – but obviously the opportunity to humiliate her was more appealing for some employees of Citibank than the opportunity to take advantage of free booze at the Ritz.
Maybe she deserves a talking to for suggesting that “it goes without saying that the more upper-class you dress, the less likely you shall be denied entry”, but the lesson to be learnt here is never, ever, ever, ever send anyone an e-mail you wouldn’t be prepared for the whole world to read. Especially if you work at Citibank.
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About this blog
Quite Random is the blog of Nathan Nelson, a human male who lives in the UK and is not entirely sure what he's going to do when he grows up but is interested in international development, photography, secularism, technology, music and movies and other things anyone of his age would be.
