Quite Random

Have I done something wrong?

This is geeky, but still makes me chuckle.

An email came in to the team mailbox the other day – a frustrated web publisher with a problem. “I put the link in to this page but it doesn’t work – have I done something wrong?”.

We found the page, looked, took a moment to comprehend, then laughed quite a lot.

“You didn’t actually add any links, you coloured the text blue and underlined it”.

“That’s no good, is it.”

At this point you might be tempted to explain that for the link to work would have required some kind of clairvoyance on the part of the software, or the user, but there’s really not much point.

“That’s OK, we’ll fix it. Didn’t you just have training in web publishing last week? Yes. Did you go?”.

It’s Friday and it’s time to arse about on the Interweb

Cookie says to me I should be linking to more interesting websites – I’m spending a bit too much of my time going on about one-legged lesbian Fairtrade jam makers in Malawi, or something like that.

With Cookie reading it, this blog must have a readership of, meh, four. Some people stumble across it by accident (I look at the web stats, and all I can say to the people who found this site by Googling ‘Kerry Katona masturbating’ is there’s nothing to see here, move along).

OK, so anyone looking for interesting stuff to waste away their afternoon at work on a Friday should look at digg.com (a site where people vote for content they find interesting, which despite apparently being dominated by fifteen year olds who use works like ‘n00b’ and ‘w00t’ actually turns up some interesting stuff).

Apart from Digg, reddit.com is another useful source for links. To save time, you can just go to popurls.com, which presents the most popular content from digg, reddit, del.icio.us, YouTube, and stacks of other websites. Fail to find something interesting to read on Popurls and you really should turn off your computer and go and read a book.

I’m currently enjoying pictures that are very long. The ones below are examples, click on the tiny pictures below to see them full size:

The second picture above, a human evolutionary timeline, suggests that humans have spent the ages either shagging or violently killing each other, so I’m thinking it’s quite accurate.

The amusingly named Japanese company Nobby Tech make very high speed cameras. Very, very high speed cameras. Cue some cool videos of a samurai sword slicing through an egg, a bottle of tea, and a tomato.

Apparently people can read this blog in China – I know as I have tested it using this website. But before getting all steamed up about BBC News and the rest being blocked in China, it’s also worth remembering that it is pretty difficult to get Al Jazeera English in the USA – TV networks in the Land Of The Free are doing a good job of restricting access to Al Jazeera, possibly because:

Al-Jazeera is no friend of America, the American people, or the American government….

and…

if Al-Jazeera makes waves on American cable, then the possibility of suicide bombers in America could lurk close behind.

These quotes are from where? Accuracy in Media’s article, The Invasion of Al-Jazeera. Yes, you heard it folks, Rageh Omaar and Sir David Frost are seeking to subliminally program Muslims everywhere to strap bombs to their bodies.

Sorry, nearly got political there. A lesbian jam-maker nearly felt her ears burn. Back to the stupid stuff, I’ve been laughing like an idiot at Arnold Schwarzenegger sharing his deepest feelings and signing for the deaf on BBC News.

Finally, I am in awe of these photos.

Reply to all

It’s evil.

In the work environment, petty squabbles snowball to become all-out battles of words, people finding ever more polite ways to tell each other to fuck off, and all for the benefit of an ever-growing list of recipients, people who really need to read this. It’s either copy them in now, or send it to them later with an ‘FYI’ at the top… ‘can you believe what they said? Mm? No. Me neither’. A pause between each new message addressed to all and sundry, a haitus between each new response. It’s like listening to an argument at a Quakers meeting.

In your personal life, reply to all is all about the banter. Someone wants to organise a party / night out / dinner / weekend in Blackpool. They e-mail everyone they have ever met, including a really confused Dutch guy they got drunk with in Bangkok four years ago. Someone hits ‘reply to all’ with a witty retort, because when you’re all on the same mailing list, well, you’re all friends aren’t you? No. Few people know each other, the ones that do phone each other, and the Dutch guy spends the next five years even more confused as to why he keeps getting sent viruses by a hairdresser from Bracknell he has never met.

So. Ban the ‘reply to all’ button.

What else would I like to ban today?

• The guy outside Brixton Tube in the mornings shouting ‘Metro Metro Metro!’ as if he’s feeding pigs.
• The sight of Jade Goody in tears. For pity’s sake. It’s like a sea lion with conjunctivitis.
• Waking up and feeling more tired than when you went to bed.
• January.

I like lists.

An undignified end

Saddam is dead, and cameraphones and internet video come into their own. The jerky style of footage you’d normally associate with bad dancing at weddings will now become synonymous with the rather undignified end of a dictator.

Bush described Saddam’s execution as a milestone. That’s not how it looked. It looked and sounded rather shambolic – shouts of ‘Allahu Akhbar’, someone helpfully suggesting Hussein ‘Go to hell’, and the flashing of several cameras as Hussein hung crumpled, his head at an incongruous angle. In the end, there is little satisfaction to be had from this. I’m not quite sure what kind of person relishes the sight of a human being being killed. I didn’t feel like justice had been done, I felt a little sick. All of the executioners wore ski masks – this was probably for fear of reprisals by Saddam’s supporters, but it mainly brought to mind images of the masked executioner from TV and movies. Much as firing squads never knew whose gun contained live rounds, apparently for executioners, anonymity is still essential. Someone has to pull the trigger, flip the switch or open the trapdoor – we’d just rather not know who.

Justice is defined as “the administration of law or some other authority according to the principles of just behaviour and treatment”. Just therefore requires definition in order to understand justice. Just is “morally right and fair, or appropriate and deserved”. Did Saddam get what he deserved? Yes, almost certainly. Few will miss Saddam, and he was responsible for the deaths of thousands of people. Still, does it make you feel good to see him hanging? Not me.

I’m not quite sure why I put his photo here. Probably some morbid fascination with what happened. The fact that the photo of his dead body is on the front page of the BBC website suggests that this morbid fascination is shared by at least a few other people, the kind of fascination that sees the crowds gather at public executions. What Bush describes as a milestone seems more like a sad anti-climax. It might give a few people a little satisfaction to see him dead, but it won’t now make the slightest difference in Iraq or anywhere else. Saddam was a spent force when they pulled him out of his bunker, so all we got was a good ole’ hanging.

Webcameron? Ohhh, I get it…

Dave is now giving speeches from his kitchen via his new blogging site, Webcameron. For those of you who don’t get the pun, it’s like Webcam with ‘eron’ on the end. Yep. That one actually took me a second.

Dave is desperate to show us that he is a compassionate, modern Conservative, an oxymoron to start with. His speechlets are interrupted by his darling child somewhere in the background whittering about finishing her bread and jam, and his washing up is done with Ecover washing up liquid. How homely.

I use Ecover as I am a left-wing Guardian-reading wooly liberal who thinks he can save the planet by buying Ecover products - presumably, I was supposed to see Dave using Ecover and welcome his to my bosom immediately as a kindred spirit.

Labour is currently running a campaign called Dave the Chameleon, highlighting the apparent ‘flip-flops’ in Cameron’s political stance so far. Dave the Chameleon, and Webcameron, are both amusing ideas, and Webcameron is certainly an innovative way of engaging with the electorate, considering that previously, initiatives to increase public access to politicians using the web as a medium had been through sites like Write to Them.

Cameron is infuriating - he says all the right things, looks earnest, isn’t smeared by scandal, had his party’s symbol changed to an oak tree… it’s just he’s a Conservative. No, that’s not it, he’s a politician.

Sunday just got surreal

Yes, in the absence of any original thoughts or ideas of my own, it’s time to raid YouTube for videos belonging firmly in the ‘Uh?’ category.

Things to hide on your person

She was brought in from the county jail by correctional officers. They were concerned about her altered mental status, and suspicious of drug use. They had a reason to think she was concealing drugs “on her person.”

Movin’ Meat: Delicate Situation.

People are insane.