Quite Random

Vroom vroom… bugger

Upsy-daisy, downsy-daisy. I’m having a bad day. The new motorbike and I are not getting along so well, due to my useless clutch control and nerves. Hannah and I went halves on the bike, the idea being that we can ferry each other around. Most people, I suspect, would learn to ride a bike on their own and then take pillion passengers when they were confident enough, but we haven’t done that, we’re riding in tandem already. I feel a bit like I’m trying to do two things at once - not screw up, and not get my passenger into trouble. The extra weight on the back of the bike also makes a difference. The traffic in Siem Reap is slow, if unpredictable, so you need a combination of looking where you’re going, anticipating what happens at junctions where there are no traffic lights, changing gear, braking… and trying to ignore the inevitable crowd of ten tuk-tuk drivers sat around by the side of the road laughing at you when you stall the bike.

Progress elsewhere is painfully slow, and I am having to ask myself some questions about why I came here, what I expect, and what I can really offer. This is against the background of dozens of conversations with people here about NGOs, voluntary work, and life in Cambodia. Depending on who you talk to, NGOs are corrupt, unhelpful, and unsuccessful, and large charities and foreign organisations are throwing money at dozens of projects that never go anywhere, or move at such a tectonic pace that people move on, continuity is lost and the whole thing goes belly up. Khmers would be quite right to be suspicious of the motives or level of dedication of yet another person who has a great idea about how to fix their country, yet still they smile sweetly and go along with it.

Coming up in my next blog entry, I hope: no cynicism, all optimism, progress, and smooth gear changes. Oh, please.