…or toilet wall wisdom, or more blindingly obvious advice you don’t need.

Yet another list hits the Internet, with more pearls of wisdom designed to help you improve your life. You need to improve your life even if you hadn’t realised it. Luckily the Internet is here to help, and even better all the answers can be summed up in ten succinct points.

This is the equivalent of the pearls of wisdom you find on the toilet walls of a backpackers bar, the email that tells you to forward some saccharin nugget of Hallmark-greeting-card philosophy to everyone you know, or the kind soul who corners you at a party and tells you precisely how your life is shite and how you can fix it.

So being the community-minded soul I am, here are my ten ways to instantly improve your life:

1. Avoid or block out the minor irritations in life by putting a healthy distance between them and you, or simply doing your best to ignore them. For me, these currently include lists on websites, Facebook applications, people who tell me what’s wrong with me at parties, Flickr, people who are more drunk than me, and the use of the phrases ‘LOL’, ‘ROFL’ and ‘PMSL’. You can’t magic these things away, you may as well deal with them through denial.
2. To avoid stress, try being short-tempered, judgemental, and intolerant. Not only do you not need to suffer fools gladly, you can confront cretins wherever you find them and have it right out with them, right away.
3. Seriously have a think about this religion thing. It’s all made up, it does nothing but offer false comfort and division, and you’ll find you’re perfectly capable of being a happy and moral human being without it. And you don’t have to sing hymns, or accept wafers from old men with hairy nostrils unless you’re related to them.
4. Appreciate all of the complete arse-heads you meet or see on TV. They remind you just how totally brilliant your friends and loved ones are.
5. If an item of clothing doesn’t feel completely comfortable, get rid of it now. It will never make you feel better and if you wear it out it’ll ruin your night.
6. Ignore lists like this. Think for yourself, and remember that if you’re too useless to live happily through simple common sense, you can always distract yourself from your problems by telling other people what’s wrong with them at parties.
7. Accept that you can’t always succeed, or finish what you started. Take, for example, this list.