Quite Random

Broken bones and a disturbed dog

Mum’s gone and got herself hospitalised again… a broken ankle this time, necessitating surgery to add a plate and screws. Jen is unimpressed, having broken more ankles, and I have only broken a finger so I don’t even compete. Oh how we’ll laugh when she sets off security scanners at airports.

She felt a bit odd and fell over while sitting at the kitchen table – woke up on the floor to find a dog and a cat strutting around her as if it was all done for their amusement. Which most things in this house are, to be fair. Now mum’s laid out in Saxmundham Ward, surrounded by ladies that all appear to have shrunk in the wash, and she’s trying to keep herself amused, but it’s not very amusing in there. That’s the problem with hospitals – full of sick people.

But it’s OK, because she has Patientline, so we can call her whenever we want – as long as we don’t mind listening to one minute and seven seconds of announcements telling us that we’re paying fifty pence a minute to call. And they tell you this every single time, never mind giving you the option to skip it. Patientline, I have said it before and I will say it again, you are a shower of robbing bastards.

The dog meanwhile will require counselling. She believes she is alone in the world, and I just don’t make a decent substitute for mum. The cats are fine, as long as food is made available on request and a warm human is in place in the right chair in front of the telly by 8:30pm.