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My contacts on MSN this afternoon.
MSN should have two settings – online, and offline.
Busy means ‘don’t disturb me, I am trying to do something important’ – so it’s rude to interrupt by saying hello.
Away means either ‘not here, actually in another room eating’, ‘not here, in another country and my computer is actually being used by someone else’, or ‘not really in the mood to chat right now’.
I am currently ‘Away’.
Cookie says to me I should be linking to more interesting websites – I’m spending a bit too much of my time going on about one-legged lesbian Fairtrade jam makers in Malawi, or something like that.
With Cookie reading it, this blog must have a readership of, meh, four. Some people stumble across it by accident (I look at the web stats, and all I can say to the people who found this site by Googling ‘Kerry Katona masturbating’ is there’s nothing to see here, move along).
OK, so anyone looking for interesting stuff to waste away their afternoon at work on a Friday should look at digg.com (a site where people vote for content they find interesting, which despite apparently being dominated by fifteen year olds who use works like ‘n00b’ and ‘w00t’ actually turns up some interesting stuff).
Apart from Digg, reddit.com is another useful source for links. To save time, you can just go to popurls.com, which presents the most popular content from digg, reddit, del.icio.us, YouTube, and stacks of other websites. Fail to find something interesting to read on Popurls and you really should turn off your computer and go and read a book.
I’m currently enjoying pictures that are very long. The ones below are examples, click on the tiny pictures below to see them full size:
The second picture above, a human evolutionary timeline, suggests that humans have spent the ages either shagging or violently killing each other, so I’m thinking it’s quite accurate.
The amusingly named Japanese company Nobby Tech make very high speed cameras. Very, very high speed cameras. Cue some cool videos of a samurai sword slicing through an egg, a bottle of tea, and a tomato.
Apparently people can read this blog in China – I know as I have tested it using this website. But before getting all steamed up about BBC News and the rest being blocked in China, it’s also worth remembering that it is pretty difficult to get Al Jazeera English in the USA – TV networks in the Land Of The Free are doing a good job of restricting access to Al Jazeera, possibly because:
Al-Jazeera is no friend of America, the American people, or the American government….
and…
if Al-Jazeera makes waves on American cable, then the possibility of suicide bombers in America could lurk close behind.
These quotes are from where? Accuracy in Media’s article, The Invasion of Al-Jazeera. Yes, you heard it folks, Rageh Omaar and Sir David Frost are seeking to subliminally program Muslims everywhere to strap bombs to their bodies.
Sorry, nearly got political there. A lesbian jam-maker nearly felt her ears burn. Back to the stupid stuff, I’ve been laughing like an idiot at Arnold Schwarzenegger sharing his deepest feelings and signing for the deaf on BBC News.
Finally, I am in awe of these photos.
And they say men can’t multitask. Yeah, whatever. I’m the top-price, peels-and-chops, chrome-plated, twin speed with burst action and juicing multichef multitasker, baby!
Yesterday I was having a serious discussion with a client about delivery dates on a project and issues around converting process flow diagrams for web publication, while simultaneously adjusting a toilet seat. I wasn’t using the toilet at the time, and furthermore the client never suspected a thing.
I’ve been feeding the cat while chatting on MSN with mates in various states of distress, writing about the adverse environmental effects of DDT usage while acting as gofer for my sweet silver-haired, purple-toed mother, and paying a phone bill while modifying a Greasemonkey script to provide reciprocal links between web applications.
And doing all of it very badly indeed.
Thank you, Adam Buxton. I just laughed until my ear popped.
I really want to do this course. I really do find it interesting. I really, really want a change of direction in my life, away from making pointless bloody websites and indulging the every whim of lunatics, and towards doing something exciting and worthwhile. This matters to me, and apart from anything else I’ve paid good money to do this course and spent a lot of time on it already.
So why the chuffing hell can’t I concentrate on college work? Here I am blogging about it, no problem at all typing out how pissed off I am about being unable to concentrate, and yet all I have to actually do today is type something about the effects of excess plant nutrients on a watercourse ecosystem.
Of course, it doesn’t help that the shit seems to hit the fan whenever I have an assignment due. Last time – moving house, succession of friends experiencing personal turmoil, bout of minor depression. This time, close relative breaking an ankle and a stinking cold. Next time, who knows – war with Iran, hepatitis and an alien invasion?
As if that’s not bad enough, a cat just ricoched off the desk. I think it was after attention, however it landed on an item of my course material which acted as a non-stick device, and the cat slid off backwards as quickly as it appeared.
So, a new idea. Reverse psychology. I’m going to blog about the effects of excess plant nutrients on a watercourse ecosystem. Ha! brain, not so sodding clever now, are we?
The clocks have gone forward, it’s British Summer Time. The last few months have been a real mixed bag – crap, crap, and some more crap – for a whole bunch of people. You get comments like “What is going on this year?!”.
Roll on summertime. I’m not even talking about the weather, rather that version of summertime that doesn’t even exist, but where everyone’s really happy, like the one the Fresh Prince sang about. The tune below isn’t the Fresh Prince, but for a mood-lifter, it was a toss up between that, the one below, or Here Comes The Sun by the Beatles.
Mum’s gone and got herself hospitalised again… a broken ankle this time, necessitating surgery to add a plate and screws. Jen is unimpressed, having broken more ankles, and I have only broken a finger so I don’t even compete. Oh how we’ll laugh when she sets off security scanners at airports.
She felt a bit odd and fell over while sitting at the kitchen table – woke up on the floor to find a dog and a cat strutting around her as if it was all done for their amusement. Which most things in this house are, to be fair. Now mum’s laid out in Saxmundham Ward, surrounded by ladies that all appear to have shrunk in the wash, and she’s trying to keep herself amused, but it’s not very amusing in there. That’s the problem with hospitals – full of sick people.
But it’s OK, because she has Patientline, so we can call her whenever we want – as long as we don’t mind listening to one minute and seven seconds of announcements telling us that we’re paying fifty pence a minute to call. And they tell you this every single time, never mind giving you the option to skip it. Patientline, I have said it before and I will say it again, you are a shower of robbing bastards.
The dog meanwhile will require counselling. She believes she is alone in the world, and I just don’t make a decent substitute for mum. The cats are fine, as long as food is made available on request and a warm human is in place in the right chair in front of the telly by 8:30pm.
Quite Random is the blog of Nathan Nelson, a human male who lives in the UK and is not entirely sure what he's going to do when he grows up but is interested in international development, photography, secularism, technology, music and movies and other things anyone of his age would be.
