Quite Random

Celebrity Nutters

Singer Chris de Burgh has said he has healing hands which have “helped reduce pain” for people with injuries.
He told of a golfer who had seriously hurt his leg in an accident, but who began walking again “within 20 minutes” of his form of “alternative therapy”.
“We all have the facilities within our hands to feel other people’s pain spots,” the Irish star told BBC One’s Heaven and Earth programme.
He said his musical work meant he was “connected very strongly” to his hands.

Link: De Burgh tells of ‘healing’ hands

I also feel I have to declare at this point that I am “connected very strongly” to my hands. And my nose, ears, legs and buttocks. Boom boom.

Isn’t it bad enough that De Burgh is responsible for one of the most vomit-inducing songs of all time, but now he claims he has healing powers? I have a vision of him pawing the sick and injured to the tortuous strains of ‘Lady In Red’, and it is making me feel slightly queasy.

De Burgh also claims that we are “surrounded by a strong force”. Yes. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together.

Other quiet-news-day headlines in the same vein coming up:

• Rick Astley claims proof of existence of Loch Ness Monster
• Bobby McFerrin insists own eyeball contains tiny universe
• Glen Medeiros brings dead donkey back to life with spittle

Don’t masturbate during Ramadan…

Deliberate masturbation during the month of Ramadan renders a fast invalid, Iranian Supreme Leader Sayyid Ali Khameini has ruled.

Khameini, who is Iran’s most powerful political and religious figure, was asked on his website : “If somebody masturbates during the month of Ramadan but without any discharge, is his fasting invalidated?”

Khameini: Don’t masturbate during Ramadan - News from Israel, Ynetnews.

I’d highly recommend reading this article, especially for the detailed breakdown of whether discharge of fluids while deliberately masturbating represents a break in the Ramadan fast, and the query about what to do with the bits of food stuck between your teeth.

Islam is hilarious!