O Noodly Master, O Flying Spaghetti Monster
Give me the strength to get out of bed early enough to make my morning tea
Do not let the Today programme lull me back to sleep.
Grant that I may find a warm seat on the left of the bus where that little ledge is that I can rest my foot on,
And allow me a quick and straightforward exit at Brixton.
Spare me from saying things at work like “I’ve got that meeting room booked now but they’re still in there”
Or indeed even from caring.
Give me the grace to go to the cafe for my meeting instead, at least they do good coffee.
Spare me so many meetings, as I never get any work done in them,
And they are extremely dull.
Allow me not to be distracted by trivial concerns,
Such as how much pesto might be left in the fridge.
And O Noodly Master, I know that you are a gentle and kind noodly deity,
But force me to sit down and do my coursework when I get home,
And allow me not to be distracted by the telly,
For thine is the noodliness, the meatballs and the glory
For ever and ever
Arrr.
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