Stunning 1 bedroom flat. With added crap.

On January 25 2007 · 6 Comments · In Diary

No-one can actually enjoy moving home. Well, maybe some people get some twisted enjoyment from it. Maybe some weirdos move as often as they can for kicks (I love jumping in and out of hire vans, me). For any normal person however, the prospect of dealing with estate agents or letting agents (a kind of strange and untrustworthy human subspecies with sinister glazed eyes and broad unconvincing smiles), finding deposits, working out how to find unfamiliar places that only might be any good, poking around kitchens and trying to see the positive side in bad cookers, peeling paint and two feet clearance around the bed, is, well, poo. It’s worse in winter, when everything’s dark, it’s worser in London, where accommodation takes the mickey, and it’s worserer when you don’t really want to be in London anyway. London. Still can’t work out if it’s the best city in the world or an overrated shithole.

Boo hoo me.

Last night I saw a flat in Wandsworth Common. Looking in a kitchen cupboard, I said to the lady showing me around “someone’s left a bunch of rubbish in this cupboard!” – they had. Old crappy kettle, mysterious plastic products with no discernible purpose, half-used and dried-out scouring pads. On top of the fridge sat a microwave that looked just about large enough to microwave an egg. She said in response to my question, “yes, this flat is furnished”. What? Furnished with old, used crap?

Barcelona… hang on… I went to Spain the other week! Yes, must remember to blog about that. Mmm. Cortado.

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  • Jenny

    Hola.
    Just to let you know, “Viva España” isn’t that great to say round here in Catalonia. Visca Catalunya!

  • http://theanswers42.blogspot.com/ Margaret

    Sounds like one of my housing nightmares. I especially dread having to sleep in a bed that dozens of others have slept in. Yuk! Yes, I know that’s what you do in hotels. Guess why I’m not keen on hotels?

  • Jenny

    Euw!
    Hadn’t worried about hotel beds before. Now perhaps I will!

  • http://www.spikydog.com/ Nathan

    I several places I stayed at in 2005, the skin flakes that might be in the mattress were the last thing on your mind. I frequently shared my room with cockroaches, ants, spiders and geckos. I didn’t mind sharing with the geckos.

  • Jenny

    A gecko type thingy shared my bed with me in my previous flat in Figueres. It didn’t half give me a start – suddenly I became aware of something very significantly larger than an insect running up my leg under the cover. I had just come in from the pub and at first thought I was imagining things.
    Seeing as I can’t leap up from a bed (or from anywhere else) the only thing to do was fling myself into a freefall from the bed to the floor. I still hadn’t seen the creature, only felt it, so had no idea what it was.
    I yelped quite loudly. Then tried to get the cat to investigate the movements under the sheet but she was useless. She just looked and tried to seem vaguely alert. Then I was big and brave and fished out the big fat lizard.
    I then texted a friend coz I was being girly and wanted a big hug, and told him what had happened. However because my Spanish was so crap – I told him I’d just had the shock of my life because there had been a “dragon” in my bed. He was very good, and didn’t laugh too much at me.

  • http://www.spikydog.com/ Nathan

    Laughing indeed. I’d sprint round someone’s place if they said they had a dragon in their bed… even just to see what it was.