Don’t.

Lessons learnt from the last week or so:

• Don’t marinade your laptop in red wine. Not only does it do nothing to improve the flavour, it causes irritating stickyness of the keyboard, and imparts the laptop with a completely random ability to click on things for you when you least expect it. A lot.
• Don’t tell a workmate she looks like a ninja seductress from a Bruce Lee movie. She is liable to start looking at you ‘a bit funny’, and may consider a harassment action, even if you thought you were paying a compliment.
• Don’t accidentally forward on the flippant,  sarcastic comments of colleagues to other colleagues when passing on an enquiry as the other colleagues may get the impression that that first colleague is unprofessional. Even when, no, especially when they are a Director.
• Don’t blog about it. Ahem.
• Don’t scream abuse at the TV whenever Kerry Katona is in an Iceland advert. She can’t hear and she doesn’t care.
• Don’t allow yourself to get wound up by the fact that the US is always at the top of lists of countries in those little drop-down boxes you get on forms on the Internet. It isn’t worth it. Even though it is wrong, wrong, wrong.
• Don’t start writing a philosophical diatribe about life, the universe and everything when it’s already very late. You’ll just end up getting nowhere and writing a list of things not to do.

Possibly related posts:

• If I like-a you like you like-a me
• 5 things me me
• The BBC ‘cabbie’ interview
• The delicate art of procrastination
• Tick tock