Yeah no, so… A, 2

On May 15 2006 · 22 Comments · In Diary

There it is, a one-line summary of the vocabularious ticks that annoy me the most, not the writing from the inside of a new hatch somewhere on the Lost island.

“Yeah no” – used on a regular basis all over the place. “Yeah no, it’s not that bad”. Yes. It is. Stop that.

“So…” – seems to have become the new way to punctuate the end of a sentence when you don’t really know how to bring the sentence to an end. “Well, I got my new bathroom installed because the old one was such a state, but this one’s lovely, the shower has an absolutely massive head and the taps are powered by thought signals, so….”

“A, 2” – when people make a list in the air with words, rather that writing it down, and then forget how they started bulleting the list in the first place. “I’ll tell you what’s wrong with this shall I? A, the taps don’t respond to my thought signals. 2, the shower head is so powerful I lose a layer of skin in ten seconds flat”. This suggests to me that either the person has got very confused, or they are trying to construct some complicated multi-level list with indented sub-points. If their third point starts with i), that confirms it.

Hidden in this blog entry is a subtle third message, concerned with people who have bought houses and assume that anyone else in the rest of the world will ever be interested in hearing about their bathroom-related tribulations. Did you spot it?


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  • Chasm_tree

    You seem to have a problem

    Your problem seems to be that you’re not someone else

    Scudding down lifes’ hill on a sour grape snowboard

    Wake up

    Get a life

    Life is too short

    Did you spot it?

  • http://www.spikydog.com/ Nathan

    Yeah, yeah really subtle, but I think I spotted it. Thanks. Very poetic.

    Now maybe, just maybe, you try telling anyone what you think about anything using your own name or even hinting at who you are, or have you nothing better to do than leave anonymous bitchy comments on other people’s blogs? Grow up.

  • Chasm_tree

    I am a person with a genuine interest in all that makes us human. Who I am specifically in the context of this blog is not as relevant as the humanity we are all part of. If my first comments seemed ‘bitchy’ then I assure you that this was not the intended semantic was more of a light hearted prod than a heavy handed goading!
    As to my anonymity, when viewed from the outside as a part of the
    Humanity machine we are all to some degree anonymous.
    Cheers

  • http://www.spikydog.com/ Nathan

    Wow. I am genuinely impressed, I was just expecting you to say ‘f*** you’ or threaten to eat my cat. Thank you again, I’m getting a higher class of anonymous comment on here than I could ever hope for.

    Tell you what. As long as you reserve the right to anonymity, and making comments that are certainly pertinent if flowery in prose, I’ll reserve the right to say I’m bored of hearing people talking about their bathrooms. Deal?

    Out of interest (if you’re still there), was my sour grape snowboard carved by poor language or bathroom-related preoccupation? I’m neither loftily superior or really that deeply concerned with either…

    BTW if you read my blog in greater depth you might realise I am trying to wake up and get a life, as are we all. So I’m talking about my efforts, so sue me.

  • Nick

    i’m thoroughly lost…is this an argument or a philosphical slating session…ps – my bathroom tiles are so shiny then can be seen from space and my towel heater is so cool that George Clooney is jealous of me.

  • Dan

    Haha – this is entertaining.

    I’m going to watch the Life of Brian tonight.

  • http://www.spikydog.com/ Nathan

    LMFAO, as they say. This is all very strange and amusing. Nick, I’m happy for you

    Life of Brian – superb. Big nose. 

  • Chasm_Tree

    Cogito ergo sum

    However, from your viewpoint, not necessarily right in what I think, but we all have the right to think as we see fit, even if we don’t agree.

    As it happens I really don’t have a great deal of interest in bathrooms or indeed home plumbing in any way, but I would defend the right of free speech for those who do.

  • Dan

    I like all these view points.

    We say things because we are free to do so. We can say whatever we want.

    More often than not, the reasons why we say things are more revealing than the words that are produced.

    Moreover, there’s no harm in anyone taking pride in whatever they want. Everyone also has the right to decide whether or not they decide to make comment.

    Going back to the point above, the reason for the comment is usually more revealing than the comment itself.

    Yours
    Cryptic Dan

  • http://www.spikydog.com/ Nathan

    I think that is possibly the first time anyone has quoted Descartes while appealing for the right to free speech when related to bathrooms and home plumbing. You, Chasm_tree sir, are to be commended for brightening my day and making a fair point at the same time. But I’m still a little hurt that you think I need to get a life. Only a little.

    I’ve previously argued that free speech was an essential right, in the context of the protests against the Mohammed cartoons – I hadn’t applied the same argument to fixtures and fittings, but it certainly works. If you’re going to throw Descartes at me, I’ll remind you of the quote at the end of my post linked above:

    “I may disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” – Voltaire

    There’s absolutely no harm in people taking pride in whatever they want, Cryptic D, and maybe my comment about bathrooms says more about my own lack of bathroom, I don’t know. I would like a good bathroom one of these days, and when that day comes, I will surely shout about it.

    One poke about bathrooms and this is the result. Excellent. 

  • nick

    I bought a vacuum the other day…oh and a velux blind.

  • Dan

    It’s not just the bathroom. Anyway – I will move on. Please may I start a forum on this page?

    What’s your favourite bit of The Life of Brian – mine’s:

    “What have the Roman’s ever done for us?”

    http://www.mwscomp.com/movies/brian/brian.htm#script

  • Chasm_Tree

    Science is fairly good in the 21st century at telling us about what it means to be a human being, at least good in the physical sense. We are a collection of cells which over millions of years have evolved into the upright beings with advanced social skills, dexterity, and communication abilities. Well that’s fine but its still doesn’t really explain the ‘ghost in the machine’ as Descatres put it.
    We can fairly safely look upon the brain as being a type of biological super computer, with memories, processing centres, and input and output interfaces. The way these components are programmed would seem to be the key to how we respond to different situations, places and people.
    I guess all contributors are now affected, willingly or otherwise by the entertaining discussions erupting from a random plug hole, still shiny bathroom tiles prove to be an excellent medium which can all reflect upon!

  • http://www.spikydog.com/ Nathan

    "Me? No. I’m just a poor old man. I have no time for law-breakers. My legs are grey. My ears are gnarled. My eyes are old and bent."

    Love it. That and "Big nose".

    Does this blog now represent a first – a Monty-Python bathroom philosophy mash-up?

    Anyway – yes, the ghost in the machine… maybe bathrooms trigger some very specific part of the human mind and open up the possibilities of existence, the deepest mechanics of human thought, and the opportunity to chart the uncharted recesses of the anima… or maybe it’s all just waffle about taps and toilets to keep people amused while they count down to five o’clock.

    Me, I’m taking the dog for a walk.

    "Crucifixion"

    "Oh"

    "Nasty eh?"

    "Hm. Could be worse".

  • Margaret

    Oh, quit showing off – all of you!

  • Chasm_Tree

    Crucifixion, one cross each, first pod on the left

  • Dan

    Oh, you’ll probably get away with crucifixion.
    Crucifixion??!!
    Yeah. First offence.

  • http://www.cheeseytravels.blogspot.com Elmo Putney

    I don’t like Chasm_tree. She sounds weird.

  • Chasm_Tree

    Hey Elmo
    Just so that you know, I am most certainly a ‘he’, and possibly a little unconventional, I’m not sure that wierd is totally fair. Yes I enjoy some banter, and I don’t take life too seriously.
    My tongue is a little sore however……….I keep forgetting it’s firmly in my cheek!

    Best wishes to you all, oh, and thanks for all the fish

    Paul

  • http://www.spikydog.com/ Nathan

    Strange that, someone else thought you were a girl as well…

    Was "Wake up" and "Get a life" totally fair?

  • Chasm_tree

    Nathan

    Sorry, I really do apologise if you were offended (tongue now out of cheek).
    and I agree, that on face value the remarks could seem a little acerbic, it is so very difficult to put the intended inflection or gravitas when using a text rather than verbal form of communication. Hopefully I will become more skilled at producing the desired result, through reading feedback from chaps & chapesses such as those found on quality web sites like this one.

    Just checking………………..

    Yes deffo Male !

  • http://www.spikydog.com/ Nathan